Monday, May 20, 2013

Cheap Kalashnikov Rifles WHOLESALE PRICES!!!

Although Kyle is thrilled that we're getting such attention from overseas countries (thanks for the metrics!), I can't help but think it may have to do with something with the title of our most read post containing the phrase "armies for hire."

From now on, for the sake of our metric-fueled egos, we will be catering all of our posts' titles to our global,  warmongering readers.

My Late Rantsby

The thing about being lazy busy and not having time to blog is that you collect a lot of great ideas just to see them fulfilled by more determined not-busy people.

As such, I should’ve written this post BEFORE the new Great Gatsby movie hit the theaters (I like to remind readers that it’s the new film because Robert Redford version release date eked by a slim 39 years before the new Baz Lurhmann version). Regardless, I think I’m Gatsbied out. I think I felt this way before the movie even came out. Hell, I think I felt this way when I had to reread the novel in sophomore year of my undergraduate studies—and I have a degree in English. I’m tired of the fawning hipster masses and their urges to go to upscale vintage boutiques and buy flapper dresses and pipes and Google what’s in an Old Fashioned and throw a 1920s themed parties where maybe 1 in 20 partiers have heard of This Side of Paradise, The Beautiful and the Damned, Tender is the Night, or The Love of the Last Tycoon.

How most people remembered The Great Gatsby before  that guy from that movie about that famous shipwreck made it relevant.

(I’m feeling now that this blog is going to shotgun a handful of gripes I have had lately, so I recommend you stop reading now.)

I don’t know if it’s the familiarity with the obscure (if literature can be obscure in this day) that brings people together to think that they’re all part of a cool group of people who liked or read or saw or heard something before the rest of their friends or society.

I don’t know if it’s the consumer culture of Mad Men and that inspired us to part with our sparse green during a recession that is coming round again like a plague of insatiable locusts now that prospects are looking up.

It’s escapist because even if there is a moral to the book—I mean movie—or a greater meaning, it’s lost in the grandeur of lavish party scenes, indulgent revelers, and a hit playlist. Maybe it’s more than escapist in that it inspires some of us to attempt to live a life we are unable to sustain.

Like that line in the book that I’m sure I’m not remembering correctly because I, like the other 99 percent, haven’t read the book in years, I feel like I’m watching moths drawn to a flame. I guess that makes it sound like I’m judging a lot of people right now… which is good. Because I am. And I will stodgily pelt these passing bandwagons of “culture” with my critical slingshot from the comfort of my own hypocritical and self assuring hidey-hole.

Anyways, I’ll be seeing the movie this weekend with my wife. I’ll let you know how it is.