Hey...Will....Hey Will...Hey Will?

Loneliness is the feeling of being alone, and a lone lonely loner should be thrown a bone.

Thus begins the greatest poem I'll never write...I envision it as a kind of dark but vaguely hopeful Dr. Seuss.  Okay, darker.  Let's be honest, some of Dr. Seuss is scary shit. Have you read The Cat in the Hat? He terrorizes children worse than the Kool-Aid Man.  Sure he cleans up the mess before the parents get home, but if that little boy doesn't end up with some stress disorder because of this damn cat, I'll be very surprised.

Warning: Rampaging Asshole

Oh! The Places You'll Go has some scary stuff too.  But enough about one of my favorite authors.  

So what IS this post about? Is it about my pregnant ghost shrimp? No, but it should be.  Yeah, I thought it was a dude too, big whoop, wanna fight about it?  

The best way to determine this shrimp's gender is clear...

This post is actually about my co-blogger, Will (please, enough with the "ghost shrimp/tiny pale penis" jokes).  Perhaps, like me, you've noticed his lack of posts and horrid stench.  Perhaps just the stench.  Regardless, I hope you'll join me in lighting a fire under his shapely, but tragically un-firm, buns.  If you know Will, and can stand talking to him, tell him you want some productivity so Kyle doesn't have to work so hard, slaving away at entertaining an international audience of high-class and fancy-free male and female Homo Sapiens Sapiens.  We salute you, you crazy monkey-spawn, now let's go tell Will what we really think of him!

There he is, get him!...Oh wait, that's Justin Long...

Probably Will. If you see this man, punch him and tell him I sent you.

As the Protagonists Look On...

Ghost shrimp.  The name conjures up images of ethereal, wall-penetrating shrimp and very tiny, spooky spirits.  But what are they really? The least filling party food? The ghosts that always get picked last in ghostketball?  Sadly no, because ghostketball doesn't exist...

But they're learning...dear god, they're learning!

Ghost shrimp are actually a species of freshwater shrimp that have see-through bodies!  This adaptation undoubtedly is an excellent camouflage against predators, because the shrimp currently watching me write this are only visible by their eyes and the food in their stomachs.  "The food in their stomachs?!" You are undoubtedly screaming at your computer screen right now.  Yes indeed folks, one of the most entertaining reasons to have these li'l buggers is the joy of watching them eat.  My shrimp are currently existing on betta fish pellets, which are orange.  When they eat, they hold the orange pellet in front of their face, and this pellet gets smaller and smaller as they eat it (however they do that...tiny forks? mouth-straws?).  As the pellet gets smaller, an orange ball can be seen growing right behind their eyes.  If you look carefully you can see this ball pulsating as the stomach muscles (I guess) move the food around.  Pretty interesting stuff.  They also swim around, walk along the bottom, perch on plants, groom moss balls, and generally clean up around the place. 

They make excellent pets as long as you like easily maintained but difficult to see animals.  I currently have 2 in my tank, or possibly 3, since Pierre's disappearance can neither be confirmed nor denied.  What I can tell you is that right before I typed this sentence, Guy swam to the surface and grabbed a pellet! This is cool because until this point I've only seen them take food that had sank to the bottom.  Anyway, if you already have a freshwater tank, consider adding these interesting little cleaners!  

Hey man, your "ghost shrimp" is showing.

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